Jun 9, 2013

Panthers Can't Be Choosers: Meet The Basketball Team's New Additions


You’re walking down Forbes on your way to the Cathedral. You just passed Lawrence and hit the corner of Forbes and Bigelow. You stop at the corner when you see the glowing orange hand on the crosswalk across the street. You’re waiting with a group of people that you don’t know, trying not to stare at the one hot girl in the group, when all of the sudden some kid wearing plaid shorts pushes past you and starts walking across the street. “The sign hasn’t changed to the walking man yet,” you confusedly think to yourself. Just as this kid gets a quarter of the way across the street, the sign changes. How did plaidshorts know the sign was about to change?! This kid is a genius. Everyone else at the corner looks at each other in amazement. One person snaps a picture with her phone so she can Tweet about this genius. Everyone is still overcome with amazement. But all of the sudden BANG, plaidshorts gets rocked by the 10a! Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Neither did plaidshorts. The bus comes to a screeching halt, the old lady driver jumps out, lights up a cigarette and asks plaid shorts if he’s okay. But it’s too late, his shorts are ripped and even worse—one of his boat shoes came untied. “You ruined my moment!” cries plaidshorts, “Didn’t you see the signal?” No, no she didn’t.

She didn’t see the signal and ran right through the red light. That’s one of 19 things 10a bus drivers have in common with… Jamie Dixon! Didn’t see that coming either, did you? Neither did plaidshorts. I know what you’re thinking. Comparing Jamie Dixon to 10a bus drivers is the stupidest fucking thing you’ve ever heard. You’re ready to X out of this and check your Facebook again. But guess what? It’s something. And anyway, the only way you’re reading this is if you actually know me or if you’re extremely bored in between hangover vomits. Anyway, we’ll get to the other 18 similarities between our basketball head coach and the drivers of our favorite Pitt bus line in some other post. But first, I need to express my inner most thoughts on Jamie Dixon:

I like JD. I think he’s a good coach and he’s had a lot of success here at Pitt but I think he can be better. The thing about coaches in college basketball in general is that there aren’t very many good ones. Here’s a list of elite NCAA basketball coaches: Mike Krzyzewski, Rick Pitino, Tom Izzo, John Calipari, and Bill Self. I didn’t have to look up how to spell Krzyzewski but I did have to look up Pitino and Calipari. There’s no significance to that, I’m just patting myself on the back. Anyway, here’s a list of not-elite-but-really-close-to-being-elite NCAA basketball coaches: Jim Boeheim, Billy Donovan, Brad Stevens, Bob Huggans (sike! LMAO), and Jamie Dixon. Outside of those coaches, how many can you name? Not many. Here’s how JD stacks up:


Winning %
Krzyzewski
.788
Stevens
.772
Calipari
.765
Self
.756
Dixon
.753
Boeheim
.746
Pitino
.736
Izzo
.713
Donovan
.708

Dixon may not be elite, but he’s pretty fucking good. His best quality is turning a lack of talent into a possible contender. And really, that’s the best quality you can ask for in a coach. With that said, you can never count out Pitt. As shitty as Andy Katz might think they are, Pitt will always have a chance to succeed as long as JD is behind the reigns. We saw that this year—a completely overmatched Pitt team started two freshmen and continually beat good teams, proving everybody wrong and ultimately got screwed into an 8 seed by the selection committee and then got shocked in the first round by one of the most unlikable, overachieving schools in the country in Wichita State. When’s the last time a 9 seed made the Final Four and didn’t capture America’s heart? They beat Pitt, Gonzaga, and Ohio State and still nobody took them seriously. I would tell Wichita to have fun falling back into mediocrity but for that to happen, they would have had to come out of it in the first place. In a seven game series, JD and co. would have rocked Wichita.

But ultimately, rocks are what Pitt was throwing in that game. The Patterson-Robinson-Woodall backcourt shot 3 of 26. Think about that for a second. What have you ever done in your life that you succeeded only 3 out of 26 times? If you’re wearing plaid shorts, don’t answer that. By the way, I have nothing against plaid shorts, it just happens that if you are wearing them you have a 53% higher chance to jump the gun on the crosswalk light. The Pitt News media kit says that 90% of Pitt students regularly read The Pitt News. If they can make up stats, so can I.

Anyway, Wichita State saw right through Pitt’s zone offense and didn’t let anyone get open for a shot. Steven Adams wasn’t polished enough to dominate inside and the whole system fell apart.

As frustrating as it is some times, I don’t have a problem with Dixon’s zone offense as much as I have a problem with his failure to adapt. In college basketball, I’ve always thought that you can’t draft players to suit your system so you should just recruit the best available players. That is, you shouldn’t build a team around your system, you should build a system around your team. JD’s offense requires perimeter shooters and adaptable big men—something Pitt hasn’t had in years and still doesn’t have. The system is becoming more and more of a problem as internal players are siting it as a reason for transferring out of Pitt while externals are choosing faster paced offensive schools instead of Pitt.

Instead of adapting to what he has, Dixon doesn’t seem to see the signals (same as the 10a drivers!) and that’s the second thing that gets to me.

Dixon signed Cam Wright (who was once recruited by Ohio State until they realized he couldn't hit a jump shot, so they bowed out), Tray Woodall (who was a talented but undersized shooting guard that was recruited by some decent schools until they realized converting him to point guard would be too big of a project, so they all bowed out), and Isiah Epps who... you get the idea. Other schools notice red flags, Dixon seemingly doesn't.

Enter Joseph Uchebo; 6'11" JUCO transfer who signed with Pitt in early May. Uchebo (or should we call him Joe? I bet Pitt fans will end up calling him Joe) was initially recruited by Florida State, Kentucky, NC State, and other big name schools when he was the 83rd ranked prospect by ESPN in 2011. This should be enough to give a halfie to anyone who owns an O-Zoo t-shirt, but listen to this: He ended up committing to NC State until they had a last minute coaching change and Joe was no longer interested in playing for their new coach, so he played at community college where he averaged only 12 and 12 as a freshman. Joe sat out his sophomore year with a brutal knee injury (ahem, red flag, Jamie, this is your red flag) but then he declared to transfer to Pitt after other schools like Minnesota and Nebraska were reportedly interested BUT BOWED OUT when they saw his knee which apparently still looks like Carrot Top's face. (Cocaine’s a hell of a drug.)

Pitt isn't telling you this yet but rumor is that Joe probably won't be able to play until at least halfway through the season and even then, how effective can someone be if they've sat on their ass for the last year and a half+? Dixon loves long term projects as much as female West Virginia students love donuts. If you're a West Virginia student that somehow stumbled upon this, now is a good time to close out. If you keep reading, you'll probably want to kill me. 

Anyway, Joe has three years of eligibility remaining and Dixon thinks UPMC can work a miracle (this was actually a selling point, apparently) on a player that isn't good enough to run off to the NBA after a couple good games. This signing was hasty as shit and stinks of desperation worse than the Pitt Quidditch team.

Even worse, this means Talib Zanna is your 2013-2014 starting center which failed before and will fail again. He's not big enough, he's not a good rebounder, and he doesn't have any post moves. If Pitt's going anywhere next season, Zanna needs to be their power forward. But instead, their four will be freshman Mike Young who does sound like a solid player but starting Zanna out of position next to a freshman makes for a really really really very thin front court. Joe may eventually work out, but right now I hate everything about this signing. It's like when your mom buys store-brand Oreos.

With so many available scholarships, what is most bewildering is that there’s been a relatively low number of names floating around. Pitt theoretically should be an attractive destination—The team is thin at almost every position, so playing time is more available than a female West Virginia student on a Friday night; Pitt has had recent success, so they get more exposure than a female West Virginia student on a Friday night; and Pitt’s moving to the ACC, home of the Duke Blue Devils, giving them the opportunity to beat on gay men more than a male West Virginia student does on every night. Not that every player on Duke is gay, just most of them. Not that every girl that goes to West Virginia is a whore either. Just most of them.

But if Pitt is so attractive, why isn’t there more interest? Amanda Bynes asks herself the same question every day. DeAndre Kane was the most talented player Pitt has been connected to but he recently decline Pitt in favor of Iowa State. I see where he’s coming from—I declined Harvard Graduate school in favor of the Everest Institute.

Kane would have been the first scorer Pitt has had in recent history, which says a lot about their offense. Kane is a scorer, not a shooter. There is a difference-- Ashton Gibbs was a shooter, and a polarizing shooter at that. Kane put up 15 points, 7 dimes, and 4 boards last year at Marshall. He attacks the rim and gets to the line, something Pitt needed more than anything last year. He can pass, so he would have fit into Dixon's ambiguous zone offense; he can run the point (although not well) which would have provided insurance for James Robinson; and being a fifth year senior, he would have made an immediate impact.

But the most important thing Kane would have done for Pitt is that he would have made everybody around him better. Robinson would have had a scorer to distribute to, Durand Johnson wouldn't have been relied on as much and would have become the secondary offensive option that he should be, and Kane would draw defenders out of the paint, making it easier for Mike Young, Talib Zanna, and Joe Uchebo's Carrot Top knee to score down low (something Steven Adams didn't have last year.)

With Pitt moving from the slower paced, defensive minded Big East to the up-tempo, athletic ACC, I can't think of a better type of player for this team than Kane. He shoots a low percentage, but he gets to the line and he's one of the fastest players on the court at all times (I've never actually seen him play but I'm thinking he's a Monta Ellis type).

Kane made an official visit to Pittsburgh in mid-May. He was expected to sign and there were even premature reports that he had signed, but ultimately Dixon either couldn’t close (my guess) or didn’t want to. I just assume that at this point, Pitt will take whoever they can get and the fact that they couldn’t get DeAndre Kane really hurts and there could be more to it than simply "Sorry, DeAndre, we can only give you half the money you may or may not want us to illegally give you." We’ll come back to this later.

Coming to Pitt seems more and more like a game of musical chairs. When the music stops, the last one without a seat is former Alabama guard Trevor Lacey. You may have heard of him before. He's been an overrated, only relatively semi-appealing player that averaged 11/4/3 last year as a sophomore. He is transferring likely in hopes that he can improve his possible draft stock. And as a former top 15 recruit, Lacey's had a staggeringly unstaggering career at Bama.

Pitt is probably drawn to his 37% 3 point percentage much more than they are drawn to his 39% field goal percentage. But he only shot 31% from the arch in his freshman year, and his better follow up year may have been altered by a hot first half-- he shot only 29% in his last 15 games. Lacey is a solid jump shooter and he's much more Jamie Dixon's type than Kane is, but I can't help but feel like Pitt would be settling if they signed him. He'll also have to sit out a year to gain eligibility.

It’s just weird to me that Lacey is the only player currently connected to Pitt, who has three scholarships to dangle. It shouldn’t be this hard to find replacements and make Pitt a serviceable team. Instead, Pitt’s going to look like the fucking Mighty Ducks out there against Duke, who will look like Team Iceland. Okay, you’re right, every player on Duke is gay.

It’s fishy. It’s sketchy. It’s like going to a jungle juice party.

Speaking of fishy, JJ Moore played three years here and then all of the sudden realized that he doesn’t like Pitt’s slower style of play, so he decides to transfer to Rutgers for one year. Is anyone not calling bullshit on this? Keep in mind that Rutgers is the team with the coach that threw basketballs at the players faces when they zoned out in practice. So JJ Moore would rather play for that team than Pitt? What?! He’s clearly never been to New Jersey before.

The process of his transfer was strange too. At first he announced he was going to transfer, but didn’t make it official until about a month later. We’ll probably never understand why he did this. At the time, I thought I had it figured out: Moore’s transfer depended on whether or not Pitt could land Vanderbilt transfer Sheldon Jeter who plays the same position. I assumed Moore wanted playing time (it being his senior year and he has never started) and Jeter would have taken that away from him. But I was wrong. Moore really did leave and Pitt doesn’t have Jeter.

Here’s what happened with Sheldon Jeter: On May 6th, a Pittsburgh radio station reported that Jeter would be transferring to Pitt. On May 17th, Jeter announced his official intent to transfer. On May 20th, Vanderbilt head coach Kevin Stallings cock blocked Jeter from being able to transfer to Pitt. When the Jeter deal fell through, I assumed JJ Moore would miraculously change his mind and stay at Pitt now that his playing time wouldn’t be cut short by a sophomore.

At first I thought Stallings was just being a dildo. But now I’m starting to wonder—does he know something? Are there some kind of rumors floating around college basketball that Pitt’s a shitty place to play basketball? And if so, who’s doing the shitting?

It doesn’t take someone with inside knowledge to know there’s internal conflict. But it does take an insider to know what the conflict is. I think it’s very possible that the players are just giving up on the system. These guys want to play a faster style. Insane Kane (I just made that nickname up) ended up signing with Iowa State, who was fourth in the nation in points per game last year because they operate a run and gun offense. JJ Moore sited the slow-play as his reason for transferring (even though we know that’s probably bullshit). And even Trevor Lacey used Alabama’s slow style as his excuse to transfer.

So why would Lacey want to come to Pitt? Honestly, I’m not sure that he will. He’s scheduled to visit Miami in mid-June and that may be where he ends up.

Despite being an otherwise attractive program, Jamie Dixon’s style could be driving talent away from Pitt. It’s their one fault; their toe-thumb.

Pitt has seen numerous outgoing transfers over the last year, JJ Moore being the latest. DeAndre Kane made a visit to Pitt and fled. Sheldon Jeter was blocked from transferring to Pitt. Nobody ever wants it to get to this point, but its time to start pointing fingers. 20 year old kids are seeing the signals, but our head coach until 2023 is not. Jamie Dixon and 10a bus drivers.


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